posted on Sunday, July 01, 2012 @ 7/01/2012 09:40:00 PM
LEADING THE GENTLE PATH by ZOHRA SARWARI
Thanks to the 2nd cousin Yani for inviting me over for this talk. It was very inspiring and motivational and I simply LOVE the lecture talk by Sister Zohra Sawari.
I actually have NO IDEA who Zohra Sarwari was, what the talk is all about. The moment the talk started, I realize uh oh! I think I'm in the wrong talk. But Zohra Sarwari proves me wrong.
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Basically, Leading the gentle path is about discipline, how you discipline your child and all about raising a child. See what I meant by I'm in the wrong place. Nevertheless, the talk was simply amazing. From the state of sleepy to my upmost awake state.
So, let me share what I've learnt during the lecture.
Discipline is education, training and teaching. While trying to discipline a child, one has to have alot of patience (TRUE). Most of the times, when we're upset with our child, we intend to used verbal words to them. Verbal words may not help them. When your child is doing wrong, be specific and told them it's not right rather than giving them a good beatings.
A simple question was introduced to us but I have no answer to it - probably because I have not yet have a child of my own.
Can Knowledge change behaviour?
No, it can't.
We can also introduced 2 types of consequences to our child.
- Positive Consequences - they do good, they get rewarded (becareful with rewards and bribing.we come to this later part)
- Negative Consequences - time-out, taking priviledge away from them etc tv, games & give them chores to do such as vacuuming the rooms and doing laundry.
FUN JAR (Positive Consequences). WORK JAR (Negative Consequences) - These 2 jars will be controlled by us (parents).
FUN JAR is where we input things that's fun that a parents and child can do together such as spending time together like doing groceries shopping together or picnic together. It can also be playing games to do as a family.
WORK JAR is whereby we input things to do that they hate, which is obviously doing the household chores.
I actually agreed to what Zohra said that nowadays we MUST/SHOULD trained our child to do both male & female household chores as so that in future they are able to do all these by themselves.
Steps to calm down when parents gets upset.
Leave, excuse yourself. Take wudhu'. Decide what you can do to stay calm in those situations. Listen to zhikir and selawat.
Teach after being calm.
- Describe to your child do differently next time.
- Practice what your child can do differently.
- Give consequences.
- Takes alot of practice and patience.
Teach them social skills.
- Get involved in our child's education.
- Stay calm.
- Get informations from their teachers about how are they in school/class.
Phew! I realized that beating our children and screamed at the top of our lungs would leave bad effect on them. Rasullullah S.A.W never uses abusive words to discipline the children, what more beats them.
Therefore, we, as a muslim, let's learn to be patience like our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. InsyaALLAH. I hope I shared some useful notes here to parents or parents to be.
together with Sister Zohra Sarwari. THANK YOU so much for the wonderful talk. May ALLAH S.W.T blessed you. Amin.
"Be patience with them. Giving rewards to kids if they do good behaviours. Every single child wants our attention. If they don't get our attention, Syaitan will."
"Each one of your children is different. Study them in order to know how their behaviour'
"KNOWLEDGE is useless if action is not taken" - Zohra Sarwari.
