posted on Saturday, December 22, 2007 @ 12/22/2007 10:34:00 PM
Eventually, I fall asleep in tears of stress. I woke up at 10am and the problem still there over in my head and I just don't know whats with myself or mother. I am 18, a young lady who had already began earning my own hard earning money, has already begin her career, bought mother a gift that cost almost $500 and she still bugging me over stuff like, "Kau jgn nk menggatal ehk ada matair ehk?! Aku nmpk kau kuar ngn jantan,nahas aku keje kan kau" I am 18 for GOODNESS SAKE! Last time she said that, I was still schooling. OK..as for that I understand. Perhaps she doesnt want me to get disturbed between studies and relationship BUT I manage to go through that process of relationship while in school until now.
And now, I am no longer in school, or perhaps in another 2 or 3years time to pursing my further studies. Well, thats another 2/3 years not now.
Why must she get so angry over small things and always find my fault and scold me over such small things and make me so stress! If not now, WHEN? Don't let me say I wont be marry for the rest of my life and you wont be having anyt son-in-law or a grandchildren that could continue your generation. DON'T Make me say that to you Mother. I seriously DONT UNDERSTAND YOU! WHY CANT YOU BE LIKE OTHER MOTHERS that understand their daughter feelings. All you know,all you wanna say is GATAL GATAL GATAL. I am not being gatal by having a boyfriend!
As for today, I thanked you dear aBg for bring me out and I knew you tried really hard to make me happy and not thinking of the problems I'm facing at home. I thanked you for being such a lovely companion and so understanding of my family old-fashioned lives especially MOTHER! Even the day was spent REALLY short, I am glad that you made me stay happy.
I bought myself Alvin and the Chipmunks Cd Soundtrack and Transformer DVD. A total of almost $50 was spent for 2cds. I was crazy I know. I usually think twice on buying cds but I guess the stress of that doesnt makes me think twice thrice and so on. We had our heavy lunch and took bus home. Thats all for the day. Well, while having my ice-cream, MOther called and start her crapped again and I really felt like throwing my phone rather than I continue my conversation with her. Really hurts my feelings.
We didnt take a ride on aBg's bike today due to some reasons and we come up with the decision to take the public transport. While on the bus, I lay my head on aBg's shoulder. Its been so long since I lay my head on his shoulder. I felt so good. SO peaceful and I'm happy that I shed a tears. I'm scared to be forced to leave him in future. I'm afraid to lose him. I really do.
I don't wish to lose you aBg! REALLY!
